Guild Wars 2 Bans Popular Game of Asura Tossing

By Jeff Francis

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Guild Wars 2 asura tossing banned

It appears that the specter of political correctness has finally hit the Guild Wars 2 online rpg with its heavy hammer of no fun. News has surfaced that the popular sport of Guild Wars 2 asura tossing has been banned by the powers that be. While not known to most of the denizens of Tyria, asura tossing has become a popular pastime in many taverns and pubs. Critics of the practice say that the game is painful and cruel while supporters say that it's just good clean fun and that the asurans that participate volunteer to do so.

Guild Wars 2 asura tossing

Malcolm Wussfellow, leader of the Tyrian Equal Rights and Dignity Consortium, has issued the following statement about Guild Wars 2 asura tossing: "It is hard to fathom in this enlightened age that the barbaric and demeaning cruelty of asura tossing continues to take place. Such acts rob asurans of their innate dignity and mocks their great achievements in engineering and other intellectual endeavors. We are pleased that a ban on such an outmoded and disgraceful 'sport' is now being enacted across the realms."

However, there are those that are fighting the Guild Wars 2 asura tossing ban. One unlikely voice of disagreement comes from a group of asurans who enjoy the activity. They've actually created golems to automate the tossing action, and they assure the mainstream Tyrian media that they don't wish to make the practice illegal within the mmo. One region that refuses to make asura tossing illegal is the Shiverpeak Mountains, an area settled by the norn. Knut Whitebear, leader of the norn, says, "Asura tossing is a time honored and enjoyable sport after quaffing a few liters of mead and ale. As long as breath is left in my body, I'll allow the hoisting and throwing of tiny asuran bodies within all the lands under my purview. If some fool brings me a petition to abolish the practice, they'll meet the business end of my axe!"

Jun012015

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